“Feathers and Scales” by Quatz; November 2016
My name is Quatz. I am an emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal polytherianthrope. Polytherianthrope meaning someone who identifies as more the one nonhuman animal. Polytherainthropy is a kind of therianthropy. Thus, I identify as both an emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal on an integral and personal level. So, I do not identify as human even though I am aware that the physical body (which I happen to share with the rest of the multiple system I happen to be a part of) is perfectly human. It’s my self-image, my identity, my soul, or what-have-you which is nonhuman. That is, in short, my situation and the basic state of my therianthropy. The long explanation of my situation is more interesting and hard to explain, shall we say.
There is no fundamental separation between me and the species I identify as. There is no separation at all actually. There cannot be any separation because therianthropy is about one’s species identity. Both emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal are what I “am” in a non-physical way and what I “identify as.” This is me and this my identity after all. I’m not talking spirit guides or totemism. Therianthropy isn’t the same as having a totem or a spirit guide. Those entities are external and are part of a belief system. Therianthropy ideals with my identity and body image, none of which are external to me at all. Far from it. Therianthropy is also different merely identifying with or having a connection with certain animals. Therianthropy is identifying as a nonhuman animal and feeling that you are a nonhuman animal in some non-physical way. Therianthropy means being a nonhuman animal on an integral level after all. Given this, naturally I do not see myself as separated from myself.
Because the species I identify as are not separate from me, I cannot separate myself from my identity, and that means I can also not separate my identity into parts. My self-image is a combination of emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal because both of them together make up the whole of my identity. I do identify as each of species individually. I identify as an emerald tree boa and I identify as a resplendent quetzal. However they have to be together to represent my species identity as a whole. Only focusing on one only equates to half of my species identity because I identify as more than one animal. Focusing on one doesn’t complete the equation that makes up my species identity. If I focus on one, not everything is there that is me if I only focus on me. Showing them together or understanding that I identify as two different animals at the same time completes the picture of my species identity. Both my theriotypes being together represents the whole of me. Due to this, my self-image and experiences mingle together. I can’t separate them and certainly not separate them from me because my theriotypes are me. They are both what I am (non-physically) to every extent. So both emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal interact and mingles within my species identity. I identify both boa and bird, and so I am both animals at the same time. So they have mingled, merged, within my species identity. That is the rational of my mind and what my mind has done over my life.
This mingling of the two species I identify as is furthered due to the fact I don’t experience what many in the therian community call shifts. Shifts are a periods of time when a therian experiences a change in how they feel, think, or so on which they feel more like their theriotype(s). Not all therians experiences shifts. I am one of those who do not. My identity is a constant and unchanging aspect of my daily life and daily experiences, so I do not experience shifts at all. My animality does not fluctuate from moment to moment or day to day. I do not have moments where I feel or think more or less animalistic, nor do I have moments when I do not feel a phantom body overlapping my physical body. My animality is simply a constant state. Because of this, my experiences as these two animals always being together has caused them to mingle in the department of how I view myself and experience myself. This melding of my therianthropic experiences has shaped how I represent and depict myself as a whole. My inner image of myself has been effected by identifying as two different animals and them both effecting me always at the same time together. I still identify as both an emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal individually, but even on the matter of the view of myself, these two animals have combined together over the years. It’s how I depict myself due to having only one body yet identifying as two animals.
Because of this, my form in our system’s innerworld is a fusion of both my therioptypes into one. So in our innerworld I take the form of an emerald tree boa with the wings and tail feathers of a resplendent quetzal. This is due to the fact I cannot have two separate bodies in our system’s innerworld, thus leading to me being a mixture of both at the same time to represent both my theriotypes always equally at the some time. This fusion of my theriotypes is how I’ve appeared in our system’s innerworld for as long as I can personally remember anything at all, which goes back to being about 14 or 15 years old. So its this fusion of my theriotype that represents and reflects my identity in our system’s inner world on a constant basis.
Because of this mingling of my body in our system’s innerworld and because I cannot have two phantom bodies (well, I suppose I could have, but my mind didn’t naturally come to that arrangement), my phantom body is also a merger of traits from both animals into the form as well. I do not experience phantom shifts, after all, so instead I am stuck with a single phantom body constantly which doesn‘t change or disappear. This means that while I am controlling, our physical body I feel another body as well which is about the length of a large emerald tree boa with wings and tail feathers proportionally sized. This body usually flies within the space of our physical body while moving. While sitting, standing, or laying down my phantom body’s movements are more akin to a tree boa then.
Going from a second body in-line with our body to a second body away from our body (out-of-body experiences) there is a continuation of this predicament of not being able to have more than one non-physical body. Just like with my body in our innerworld and my phantom body while I am fronting, I can only have one body. Thus, there is a fusion of my two theriotypes into one form. My body while I am having an out-of-body experience, again, takes the shape of a winged and feathered serpent as well. This form continues to best represent me as a whole (and not just only part of my identity) throughout my experiences. (Which our system usually calls simply projection due to it being quicker and easier to say.)
Because I do not experience what therians call mental shifts, my mindset is a singular fusion of both emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal in one as far as my animality. Because of this my mentality is a blending of boa and bird because my mentality does not and cannot change between them. Instincts both animals mixing in tandem. Boa and quetzal instincts and urges working as part of my personality constantly. Now, if I act on my instincts is a matter of choice, of course, but I still have the urge regardless. My lack of shifting and my constant animalistic mental state would make me a contherian by definition. I will use this label on myself, though I choose to rarely use it in my interactions in the therian community. I prefer to just describe my experiences rather than use the label more often than not.
Continuing on this theme, in my dreams I am naturally a blend of these two animals into one body so not to have two bodies within the same dream (or to only represent myself as only one out of the two of them). This feature of my dreams is also most likely due to the fact that blended form with my theriotypes resembles so much of my daily experiences, it just carries over into my dreams. It matters not what the dreams is about for me to be a feathered serpent in my dreams.
That is my personal therianthropy in a nutshell. The reasons why I am an emerald tree boa and resplendent quetzal polytherianthrope, yet why my experiences are an impossible hybrid of my two theriotypes. That is also a rough summary of what my therianthropic experiences entail on a daily basis.